Today started off on a one way track to hell; complete with high heels and a matching accessories.
And yet...here I am, happy as a clam (excuse the cliche), in love with a Graham -the perfect man- from the movie The Holiday, and thinking about things I had previously pushed aside.
It really does amaze me how a movie, a peice of complete fiction, can run so true to life. I realized this tonight when watching The Holiday with my little sister.
Its like Iris said, you can be going to a shrink for years, then all the sudden you meet someone, and what they say makes more sense and is able to get through easier then anything your shrink ever said! Its true human connection that gets through our thick skulls, not some hyped up psyco-bable (no offense to any psychiatrist out there). But let's start at the beggining of my realization...
I will be the first to admit that I, am a carpet. A nice fluffy white one, thats been stepped on so many times, but refuses to wear out. Ask any of my friends and they will probably tell you that I need to learn to say NO.
No, I wont drive you around. No, I dont have money to hang out today. No, its not fair that I drive you around looking for a good lay. But some how I cant quite manage to get that special two letter word out. You'd think it would be easy; but no.
A perfect example of my willingness to be the friendly neighbourhood door mat comes from my first real relationship. I was dating this guy, whom I thought the world of despite his ignorance for many of the simple facts of life (that its not a good idea to tell your girlfriend about all the wonderful chicks that are madly inlove with you, that hours of silence on the phone does not count as a conversation, that violent out bursts are not okay). Even after he cheated on me twice with someone I considered a friend, and lied about it in varying degrees, I still stayed with him for months; even as our relationship deteriorated.
" Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are the leading lady but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend." -Aurthur Abbot
Since then, I regretfully inform you that I have been in a struggle with the worst kinda of love; unrequited love.
"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!" -Iris
But this is NOT meant to be a woe-is-me entry.
On the contrary, my point of all this sob story is exactly what the point of the movie The Holiday is.
That you have to take control of your life,
That you are special and deserve someone who treats you with the respect you deserve,
That everyone has a past, everyone has secrets, everyone has felt pain, and;
That there IS someone out there for everyone.
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