Worst Situation . . . EVER

How do you comfort someone when you dont wanna hear about it? How do you tell your friend that hearing about intimate details and sappy messages makes you wanna vomit? Why is it when you say something regarding the subject, its awkward, but you have to hear bout it all the time?
So, what do you do when your stuck in a messy, annoying, painful triangle, the likes of which you've never seen before? I am SO frusterated its not even funny! Stuck in three roles at once, I just wanna scream, 'shoot me now!' okay okay, not that extreme but still...
Just recently, one of my new friends started dating my ex.
Anyways, lately i've been seeing the same patern that he did to me. Be really charming, cute and affectionate. Visit/call/text all the time. Slowly get busier, not texting as much, not calling as much, has trouble making time to see you when you drive down to see him. Death of a close friend/relative (yes i know that this isnt usually a part of a 'pattern' but when it happens repeatedly and in the right spots.... come on ppl). Then when you get mad at him, he acts all sweet and you cant be mad. cant STAY mad...
As friend to his new gf i just wanna scream 'hurt me all you want, but dont, and i mean DONT, fcuk with my friends!'
As the ex, I dont wanna hear about the whole situation. the sappy lovey dovey ness (esp when said friend KNEW i still was crushing on ex...) the plans, the bad times... I dont wanna fix this! I dont like spending MY birthday weekend trying to make my ex's new gf feel better cause he ditched off and is being a jerk, when she wouldnt listen to my warnings. This whole thing is fresh for me and the repeat is like deja vu. (read my previous posts, you'll hear me say some of the same things) It brings up bad feelings and hurt. IM NOT A COUNCELLOR.... leave me alone.
. . . what can i do? . . . what can i say when she's in tears, and im saying maybe he has a valide excuse. maybe he really is just busy... maybe... maybe... I dont know. Inside im screaming 'he's an ass! i warned you! this is hurting me! why do i have to be the best friend and put everyonees feelings and probs above mine?? Im NOT jane! dont make me hear this all....
Hearing the problem being looked at in an impracticle and overly damatized way doesnt help either... its like, whats with all the we'll never get to see eachother. and the drama woe is me. i understand being upset but ... but... err....