8.06.2007

So Sick...(and i dont mean the song by Ne-yo)




I swear to God, I havent felt this sick in a long time.. If I remember correctly, it was probably at Ty's birthday when I got so hammered I didnt know I was drunk, that i've felt this shitty. Im sweating, cold, shakey, naseaus, tired... I feel like i've got the freaking flu from hell!! And the first thing that crosses my mind is .... 'I cant do this for 9 more months...'


What. The. Hell. (right?)
Ok, maybe I should clarify. The Other day I had a pregnancy scare. Well an 'Oh shit. What did I do now?' moment. Followed by scrambling money together, and running to the pharmacy to get grilled by a pharmacist before paying like 30-47$ to get the Plan B pill (approx. 40-ish hours after the fact) So now i'm sitting here going, jeeze I hope that worked...
So technically Im physically about to vomit my insides out, and mentally scared shitless that im prego.
Which brings me to another point! What is it with guys and being oh so freakin sensitive?! I say I have a problem, and the boyfriend says oh god, your not pregnant are you? Such support guys...followed by just go get the pill it will be ok. And if its not, then what? I think to myself. This will NOT end well. If I do end up being pregnant, my mother will be uber 'dissapointed' in me (god i hate that word), my family will most likely talk about what a slut I am, behind my back, my friends will roll their eyes and say serves you right, how you gonna take care of it now? and my boyfriend will prolly run for the hills.
So basically I have a plan.. If I am (for some god forsaken reason) pregnant, and my boyfriend does run out on me, I'm picking up and moving to Ontario. Away from family. Away from so called friends. Away from all the judgement to where I know i'd have friends that support me (aka. Jor, Eric, and maybe May)
But that's not my problem right now. Right now I just wanna stop feeling like Shit!!! :'(

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