The Time In between..

Ok, so, there's alot going on right now. And not alot of it's fun. *sigh* But I've gotta write it down somewhere, and here is as good a place as any. So here is a compilation of entries from over the past week, chronicaling my thoughts, fears, annoyances, and the occasional Yay! moment (aka. the Hedley concert last night)

09-08-07 -Here We Go Again! (brought to you live from Chapters in Regina, SK)
Let me explain how I even got to be here, sitting in Starbucks in Regina, with a little more than a half tank of gas in the car, writting again after a few months of hiatus.
Over the past couple months there's been alot going on. Here's some of what's happened:
-I started hanging out with Wanda again. Probably not a good idea. And I remember why I stopped b4. I cant handle her man-hopping, her rude nick names for people she doesnt even know, her calling my friends immature because they joke around, her using me for my car and bitching at having to pay for gas, her wanting me -no, telling me!- that I should 'slut it up' even though I have a boyfriend. Ever get one of those feelings in the pit of your stomach that sais, avoid with caution? Thats what I'm gettin here and I think I'd better listen. Before I start smoking again, or before I get high for a third time, or do something else stupid.
-I moved into Stoon with Ash and Jenn. Which was going good, but I cant live with Ash's snippy comments about my character and dating life or lack there of, and superior attitude, and what I feel to be unreasonable standards for room mates. And so Im currently paying 291.67 a month plus utilities for a room i'm never in. Nor do I WANT to be there! And they wonder why Im only there nights I dont have anywhere else to stay... (and apparently this is a problem.. go fig) Also I left dishes in the sink for a couple weeks once (tho i still swear their not all mine, they were laras too cause i was never there!) and the girls are holding it over my head and yelling at me for not cleaning up enough, complaining to my mom, etc. Its a mess..
-Im also hanging out with Jackie again. Could possibly end badly, but Im really not worried. She's grown up alot since she had Peyton. Shes actually THERE for me, bought me a test (which will be taken tommorow/friday) and is supportive. no 'well you'd have 9 months to figure out where to stay' like from ash when i stated she and jenn prolly wouldnt want a baby around.
-Ash is being really really odd... comments like 'I thought you'd spaz!' when i told her I was happy for her that she had found another boyfriend. Apparently cause Id been on POF for awhile and was still alone and she found someone 'who is SO awesome!' in her words, in a couple days, Id be jealous and hate her. Between that and when I asked if I could borrow her earrings and she was like 'NO! I never get them Back!' To which I'd said I had only ever borrowed one pair and she asked where they were. I looked at her and said the dresser in my room, a wall awa y, and she was like 'oh, i thought you got rid of them'. Like why would I do that? Its like everything I say is taken as an attack!
-I Also met some really interesting people; John and the Baha'i. There's a story! So I've made a bunch of new friends through a microwave! (heh doesnt make sense does it??) Lydia, Tahereh, Luke, John, Gary, Richard, etc. All over a microwave! You see, the first day we moved into our appartment, there was a knock at the door and rather cute farmer-ish looking guy is at the door asking if we are selling our microwave/toaster oven thingy (our landlord next door was having a garage sale the day before and John now knocked at the wrong door). Anyways, This was John, a really funny, nice guy, who just has this kind aura about him -also he was the object of a crush for awhile- so now we go for coffee, to firesides, and have random talks at 1am after throwing pennies at peoples windows.. *glares at John* xP Tahereh (a girl i met through John) and I have gotten close too, atleast in my opinion. She was the first person I told about being scared that I was pregnant, and talking to her really calmed me down! Oh! And through Luke I met Jalynn, my cousins cousin on Canada Day. She is sooo awsome! Totally good CD shopping buddy, and love her like a sister!
-Then theirs Brendon, my new boyfriend! (the one aformentioned in previous blogs) I swear, this guy is A-freakin-mazing! lol He's sweet and funny, and cares how i'm doing and feeling. Actually, he really suprised me too. You see, we havent known eachother for long, and though, yeah, we're dating, a pregnancy scare already, cant have been easy. I was actually pretty suprised he didnt turn and run when I told him about the possibility. The word adoption came up, but even that is understandable (wouldnt happen, but understandable). The fact Bren said 'We'll get through this' was enough to make me realize what a good guy Ive found, and I just hope the fact that we live a couple hours apart, wont come between us. I really want this to work...Its a person I can count on, someone I can talk to (when he has minutes on the phone), and I know he cares about me, he's always saying he misses me, that he loves me... So why am I so nervous? Why am I so scared?
Anyways, you now have the background on my life for the past couple months. After a break up with Richard, and graduating highschool, moving into the city, and meeting some new people, here I am, at Chapters/Starbucks.
You see, the plan was to drive into town yesterday, and go with Bren to get his first Tattoo, but he couldnt hang out with me since he'd gotten into a fight with this guy from work a couple days earlier. I told him I needed to talk to him, and he concluded from how worried I seemed, that I was scared I was pregnant. So he started freaking out (not like I blame him) and that made me freak out. I mean seriously, here I was. Alone. In Regina. Not sure how my boyfriend was feeling since my phone died, and scared he would hate me and run. I spent the night at Wascana Park, watching the ducks on the river and reading books, waiting for my friend to call me after a dinner he went to. That didnt turn out tho. So I drove around till I was to tired too, and then parked on a residential street, and went to sleep in my back seat. The next day I did basically the same thing, Wascana, breakfast at Starbucks, reading books at Chapters, and meeting random people (like this one pregnant lady who was looking for baby names). Bren had texted me to go for lunch with him but I missed the text, so I spent the day alone again. And here I am, writting to you. Just trying to get my feelings onto paper, where maybe they'll make more sense...But its not really working.